Fic: The Lights That Stop Me Turn To Stone (Kurtbastian, NC-17)
Title: The Lights That Stop Me Turn To Stone
Author: GlassParade (aka glitterdammerung on Tumblr)
Beta: Tina (idoltina on Tumblr) and Alice (winterlit on Tumblr) and Kayla (borogroves on Tumblr) (I was really paranoid about this one you guys)
Pairing: Sebastian Smythe and Kurt Hummel
Spoilers: None, future-fic.
Word Count: 4100+
Summary: Kurt Hummel, Sebastian is discovering, will always, always keep him on his toes.
Author’s Note: Sorry this one took forever…again. And then I put it through a triply thorough beta because I was afraid I had taken so long it just stunk so I needed extra soul-bolstering before I could bring myself to put it up. Anyway, life interfered and my Blaine Big Bang happened (boy did it ever) and I dumped almond milk all over my laptop and…well. Here we are at last and I sincerely hope it is at least a little worth the wait, thank you so much for being patient. The title is from ‘Lights' by Ellie Goulding.
Message From Sebastian: Seriously, are we even TRYING any more?
Message From Kurt: Not really. I want you here. Are you on the plane?
Message From Sebastian: Jesus, yes, Mr. Pushy. The flight attendant is giving me a dirty look AGAIN.
Message From Kurt: Don’t get a cab. A driver will meet you at the airport to bring you to me.
Message From Sebastian: BRING me to you? What am I, a package?
Message From Kurt: You do happen to HAVE a package that I like. See you in a few hours!
Sure enough, there is a driver waiting for Sebastian at Fiumicino, and oh, boy, Kurt must be in a playful mood, because the driver’s sign says ‘Timon’.
Message From Sebastian: Very funny.
Message From Kurt: :)
Sebastian leans over to get close to Kurt’s ear, pitching his voice to be heard over the throbbing bass that fills the club. He’s distracted for a moment by the bodies writhing on the dance floor, but a shake of his head snaps him back to remember what he wanted. “Forgot to ask earlier. Why Italy, again?”
Kurt shifts around to pick his drink up from the bar, his shoulders lifting in a fluid shrug as he brings the glass to his lips. “Besides the obvious? I like Italy. I like the food, I like the architecture, I like the…” He trails off and his gaze fixes on a distant corner, where a pair of dark liquid eyes caught in the dim light can be seen to drop a wink at Kurt, where full lips can be just seen to turn up in a sweet little smile of invitation. “I just really like Italy.”
All Sebastian can do is nod blankly, caught as he is by the same eyes. His mouth is dry. “Yeah, uh, me, me too.”
Sebastian’s only been to Rome a time or two in his life, and not at all recently. He doesn’t recognize anything about the streets the driver is slowly traversing. It’s okay. He’s enjoying the ride.
There’s a lot he likes about Italy – about Europe in general. The colors, the tastes, the juxtaposition of the very old and the very new. There’s so much history here, he thinks, and then laughs, because appropriate much?
Message From Sebastian: What are we doing here, anyway?
Message From Kurt: Well, you’ll see.
Message From Sebastian: You could at least tell me where this guy’s taking me. I can’t figure out if I’m in a Scorsese flick or a Woody Allen joint.
Message From Kurt: It could be the ghost of Nora Ephron going in a new direction.
Message From Sebastian: It’s not too late for me to turn around and go back to the airport. I like you, but take that back.
“If we’re doing this,” Sebastian had warned, glancing over his shoulder at the start of the night, “you’re doing the picking.”
Consternation went in a flash across Kurt’s face. “Why me?”
“Because this was your idea, and besides…I’m not as picky as I’m pretty sure you’re going to be.” He’d rolled back his sleeves and turned to fully face Kurt, who was leaning in the doorway of the hotel room bathroom. “And because I’ve never seen you try to pick someone up for a one night stand before and I’m definitely sure it’s going to be hilarious.”
Kurt’s chin had come up and his lips pursed as he obviously struggled with laughter and indignation. Laughter finally won out. “At least you’re honest,” he’d sighed as he rolled his eyes and pushed off of the door jamb, sauntering back into the bedroom in a way that made Sebastian want to tackle him to the bed and kiss him until he let go this crazy plan of his and agreed to stay in all night, just the two of them.
Now, Sebastian glances up at the mezzanine that encircles the dance room of the club they’re in, and he just watches Kurt in the flashing strobe lights. Kurt, who is talking to the man with the pretty eyes from earlier. Kurt’s arm is stretched along the low wall, a smile tilting the corners of his mouth as he talks. When he raises his glass for a sip, his eyebrows go up and his lips curve further, and Sebastian knows that this one, he is the one.
Tall – maybe as tall as Sebastian? Hard to tell from downstairs. But built, not porn star built, more like male model built, in exactly the way he likes to fantasize over sometimes and is interested to discover Kurt might, too. Thick dark hair that is just perfect for grabbing in tight handfuls, a slight scruff along the jaw and chin that would feel so good against sensitive skin.
Pretty, pretty, pretty mouth. It is neither difficult nor unpleasant to imagine it wrapped around Kurt’s dick, not at all.
Sebastian chuckles as Kurt sets his glass down and turns to stretch his arms out as he glances down at the lower level, seeking and searching.
Their eyes meet and Kurt nods once, with a smile. Sebastian shakes his head briefly in amusement and then smiles back with a nod of affirmation.
Not that he really means that.
As much as he keeps trying to bury it until it can’t be remembered in his lifetime, Sebastian can’t shake the idea of being with Kurt. Really being with him. Yes, it’s a bad idea to wander this path, yes, Kurt has made it so clear that this is finite, that it’s ending and probably soon. No, he hasn’t said he even has a thousandth of an ounce of the same confusing feelings that Sebastian’s been fighting for weeks, no, Sebastian still hasn’t really been able to make sense of why he would want anything like this when he never has in his life, not ever.
It doesn’t seem to matter. He can’t turn it off.
They don’t even make it to the hotel before Alessandro is mouthing at Kurt’s throat. Kurt is snugged up between Sebastian’s spread legs in the cramped back seat of their cab, the first few buttons of his shirt undone to let pale skin gleam in the moonlight slanting in through the windows. His fingers are knotted into Alessandro’s hair, breathless moans sending puffs of air to tickle Sebastian’s ear as Sebastian’s hand slides between Kurt and Alessandro to knead at Kurt’s cock where it strains so hard against the prison of his tight jeans.
There’s an unspoken accord between Sebastian and Alessandro, one conveyed in coded glances and the subtle upward shift of lips, in short nods and careful gestures. Make this about him, is the contract to which they have quite willingly bound themselves, and which they are fulfilling with reckless abandon.
A part of Sebastian – one he will deny exists – is jealous that Alessandro is here. The feeling that he is a distraction and interference is strong; though physically he’s anything but, to Sebastian it seems a little like he’s stepping between the two of them.
But one look at Kurt’s eyes all sleepy and dark in arousal, skin flushed and warm, well, it’s worth it then, isn’t it, to be able to step aside and watch that happen?
At the very least, it’s an incredibly stimulating sight.
Kurt is gorgeous in the late summer sunset that splashes the piazza.
Not fair, Sebastian thinks, taking in the soft, worn jeans clinging snugly to Kurt’s ass, the supple leather knee high boots that hug calves he’s tasted every inch of, the snowy white button down, everything whispering touch me, touch me, touch me and it takes all of Sebastian’s self control to get out of the car without tripping over his feet – or running to grab Kurt and never ever let go.
“It’s not enough to look like one of Michaelangelo’s sculptures, you really have to do your best to outdo the masters?” he calls out as he strolls over, hands in his own jeans pockets to help surreptitiously pull the heavy fabric away from his slowly stirring cock. “Seems unfair. They’re not here to defend their work.”
“Sadly, they’re not here to pay tribute to me, either,” Kurt sighs, a playful smile taking most of the conceit out of his words. Not that he doesn’t, of course, deserve to be a little conceited – he’s being ogled by tourists and natives, men and women alike, with varying degrees of subtlety. Sebastian wants to take him to bed right the fuck now.
He manages to refrain. “So, the Trevi fountain.” Indeed, this is where he’s been dropped off, a plaza thronged with tourists tossing coins into the famous landmark, making their wishes and sending out their hopes to return to Rome.
Kurt faces the Palazzo Poli, a smile as bright as the sun and thin as a ghost whispering across his face. “People come here to say goodbye to Rome.”
“They come here to tell Rome they want to come back.” Uncertainty sets Sebastian rocking a little on his feet as he tries to follow Kurt’s train of thought.
“True.” Kurt steps back and nods, and his smile tips just a little into his knowing smirk. “I…want to turn that tradition on its head a little. Do something different.”
Kurt and Sebastian’s room is tiny, the bed definitely better suited for two than three – unless the three are wound up and tangled together, golden skin against pale skin against dark, arms and legs entwined every which way as the wet sounds of kisses mingle with breathy, helpless groans in the humid air streaming through the open window.
They are together at Kurt’s throat, mouthing hot kisses into the skin that bloom into flushed patches of red-violet as soon as they move their lips along to new places to taste. Hands roam – across Kurt’s chest here, dipping in and trailing along his inner thigh there, stopping just short of brushing knuckles against the tight skin of his balls, shying away from touching his cock.
He’s been wound tight since well before they’d left the bar, as Sebastian quite intimately knows, maybe since Alessandro had agreed to meet Sebastian and decide whether or not he wanted in. Maybe even before that, maybe at first glance.
Not that Sebastian faults Kurt for that for even one hot second. A man would have to be blind to miss Alessandro’s many charms, and frankly, Sebastian’s not sure even that would guarantee immunity.
Their eyes meet as their fingers intertwine over Kurt’s stomach, and they both smile with an unhideable satisfaction while they move their hands to clasp together around his straining, erect cock. When they begin to stroke, a helpless growl of a groan is pulled out of Kurt’s throat, raw and hot and almost more exciting than an actual orgasm might be.
Almost. Sebastian feels his dick hard against Kurt’s thigh, knows it’s that little bit sticky at the tip from his arousal, wants to bury himself deep and make him groan over and over and over.
Sebastian knows what Kurt’s pulling out of his pocket before the last rays of the sun glint off of it. “Kurt…”
“I want to say – no, I need to say goodbye.” He curls his fingers around the burnished platinum ring, the silver chain dripping from his palm like water. “People come here, they turn their back on this fountain and they throw their coins over their shoulder and every hope they have follows it in.”
It’s not coming together. “Right…”
“I’m facing it. I’m going to watch this go in because I don’t want what it represents back. I’m going to say goodbye and I’m going to let go.” Kurt’s face sets with that familiar determination, jaw twitching a little with the resolution it represents. “You’re right.”
“I am?” He almost wants to ask Kurt to repeat that. It’s not something he hears often.
“Two years is far, far too long to hate myself.” Sebastian watches Kurt swallow hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in the long column of his throat. “I haven’t felt this alive in so long. This has followed me around…and I didn’t know how heavy it was until I didn’t want to carry it anymore.” He opens his fingers to glance down at the ring. “I’m tired, Sebastian. So…just, tired. Guilt is exhausting. Why did I think I was supposed to hate myself forever?”
He shakes his head, even though Kurt isn’t facing him. “I don’t know. I mean, I’m pretty sure self-hatred has always been a talent of yours, but I’ve never understood it.” Which is a lie. No one understands self-hatred better, of course.
“I want to be inside,” Sebastian whispers to Alessandro while the Italian is mouthing kisses along the inside of Kurt’s knee. If he’s not going to have Kurt for much longer, he wants the lion’s share of what he gets. He wants to be the one who makes Kurt fall to pieces from the inside out, to be the one who pulls that very specific low sigh of ecstasy out of him.
Alessandro is more than welcome to aid in the cause, but Sebastian wants to keep what he likes best to himself for as long as he can. That’s why he’s the one knuckle deep inside of Kurt, twisting his fingers and reducing his lover to incoherent, begging moans.
Selfish, he knows, but Sebastian is well acquainted with his selfishness and has no problem owning it even when Kurt isn’t involved.
A languid shrug from Alessandro’s smooth, tanned shoulder. “Si,” he replies, the agreement a puff of air against Kurt’s warm and sensitive skin that makes him squirm under their hands. “Preservativi?”
Sebastian is never sure if he should be proud or a little embarrassed at how many languages he knows the word condom in. “One sec.”
It won’t take him long to get what they need, and Alessandro can do an admirable job of keeping Kurt occupied in the few moments required. Sebastian raises an eyebrow at the selection of piña colada and cherry flavored condoms – perfect for getting blowjobs from strangers, or giving them - in the flap pocket of Kurt’s satchel. They hadn’t been there in Thessaloniki. Pretty confident in my agreement, were you? He has to chuckle at it. Like agreement was strictly required – with their distinct lack of formal arrangement, Kurt could have wandered off on his own and picked up a pretty boy without Sebastian being involved in the equation at all.
He’s glad, though, that it didn’t work out like that. This is pretty clearly something that Kurt for some reason very much wanted, and for all that Sebastian is still unsettled by the feeling of having someone metaphorically between them still, he’s also oddly satisfied in being chosen to participate in it with Kurt.
He slips back into the bed, dropping a pile of condom packets on the side table and sliding one of the flavored ones into Alessandro’s fingers before shifting to press his body up against Kurt’s restless, wanting one. “What do you want, babe?”
“Everything,” Kurt moans, hips bucking into the air to try and entice Alessandro to do more than trace the skin of his cock with long, teasing fingers. Sebastian’s never seen him so hard, so needy, but then he’s never been this teased and tormented with foreplay in all the time they’ve been traveling together. He’s so pretty this way, flushed and squirming and little staccato moans, a boneless tumble of need and want and now, please, now.
“Can you sit up for me?” Sebastian nods to Alessandro, who sits back and reaches out his arms to pull Kurt up so that Sebastian can slip underneath, kneading the mouthwatering muscle of Kurt’s ass. He watches as they meet in a long, deep kiss, Kurt spilling that special moan into Alessandro’s pretty mouth as Sebastian spreads him open and begins to press his own achingly hard cock inside.
It’s not truly meant to make Kurt laugh, but it does, and with a damp sniffle that’s the first indication that Kurt’s also tearing up at this. “He’s actually happy now. I’ve known that for months – the New Directions grapevine is unsurpassed in its ability to spread information to all corners whether you want to know something or not. He’s all right. Maybe he’s even forgiven me. But I kept hanging on…”
It seems like it would be too intrusive to touch Kurt’s shoulder, so Sebastian keeps hanging back, just watching and waiting. “You’re going to…”
“Let go. I’m going to let go. I have to let go.” Long, pale fingers close again around the ring, hiding it from view. “This is the last thing.”
Difficult as it is, Sebastian manages to squash the little part of him that’s jumping up and down and shrieking Yes! Yes! Yes! He’s not naïve enough to think this means he should give way to hope.
So tempting, though.
Kurt’s closed fist comes up to his lips and his eyes flutter shut, eyelashes a shadow on his cheeks as he presses a kiss to his hand. Sebastian barely hears his murmured, “Goodbye,” before the ring is in the air, a shining glint against the backdrop of the elaborate palace for just one bright instant.
And then it’s gone. It seems like it should have more drama to it, but as he considers, Sebastian realizes that Kurt didn’t even have the energy for that any more. He was too relieved by giving himself permission to let go.
As Kurt sinks down over Sebastian, Alessandro is there to hold him up, to catch Kurt’s hitching breaths in his mouth, to trail wet kisses down Kurt’s chest as Sebastian begins to push up and thrust as slowly as he can, holding back to try and make this last as long as possible.
He sees Kurt’s fingers fist into the white sheets, crumpling the linens in white knuckled hands when Alessandro dips down and sheathes Kurt’s cock in the condom. Sly dark eyes flick up and smile into Kurt’s wondering face seconds before he tilts down and his mouth around Kurt makes wonder shift into mindless pleasure. His head falls back, mouth open and eyelashes fluttering shut to fan across high, flushed cheekbones.
Sebastian thinks that if he ever has to choose one memory to take with him to the grave, it’s the picture of Kurt’s face in this moment. Given up to pleasure, no tension in sight – Sebastian’s fingers grip hard enough into Kurt’s waist that the marks are going to be there for a while and his hips roll up in a push that rocks the bed and makes them all groan.
It should be an awkward position – it is, a little – but that’s overridden by the tight warmth Sebastian’s sinking into, by the look on Kurt’s face as Sebastian and Alessandro settle into a rhythm that slings him between overwhelming pleasure and relentless ecstasy. A tilt of his head lets Sebastian peek between Kurt’s body and his arm to see Alessandro’s ass shifting as he rocks his cock against the bedsheets, to catch a glimpse of his face as his eyes droop closed and his pretty, pretty mouth stretches around Kurt’s cock, thick and hard and the latex wet with saliva that glitters in the dim lamplight.
Oh, he’s not going to last much longer. That foreplay had been as much a torment to him as the other two.
The slippery feel of a condom probing at his hole is a surprise, and Sebastian’s eyes fly open to see Alessandro gazing inquiringly at him, his fingers carefully covered as he slips them over the entrance there, waiting for permission.
“Yes.” It’s simple, carried on a moan he can’t hold back, one that uncurls with gutteral animalism when Alessandro’s fingers push gently inside, matching the rhythm of his mouth on Kurt, of Sebastian’s hips as he buries himself inside of Kurt over and over…
Alessandro picks up on the speed increase of Sebastian’s thrusts and rocks into it, bobbing his head down to take almost all of Kurt into his mouth and throat – and that’s what makes Kurt come completely undone, what makes the fingers of his right hand come up and grip fingernails into Sebastian’s knee, what makes a gasp two steps from a pleasured sob choke out of his mouth and his back arches, his other hand scrabbling to clutch at the sheets and keep him upright as he tumbles over the edge.
And he takes Sebastian with him.
Now he feels okay with stepping up and placing a careful hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “Are you going to be all right?”
“No.” Kurt shakes his head before casting a lopsided smile back at Sebastian. “I am all right. More all right than I’ve been in a very long time, honestly.”
He’s relaxing under Sebastian’s touch and gaze, standing taller and just radiating peace. It’s enviable, makes Sebastian wonder what he’d have to do to achieve that kind of comfort with himself. Makes him realize he wants it, wants at last to work towards it instead of running from everything. And any other day he’d sit down and turn that over in his mind, examine it and try to start working it out, but today is Kurt’s day. “You could have done this before I got here. Why wait for me?”
“I told you in Greece. Moral support.” Kurt wraps his arms around himself and smiles softly into the darkening sky. “I didn’t want to be alone. Not for this. I…it’s a whole new chapter of my life, Sebastian. Someone needed to witness it.” A chuckle puffs out. “And as you well know, I always did love a good audience.”
Good deeds deserve a very most excellent reward.
As soon as Sebastian can breathe and sit up he’s got Alessandro laughing as he tumbles over onto his back, laughter that becomes a long groan as Sebastian whips another condom down over his rock hard dick and lowers his mouth to clench tight, long slow swirls of his well-practiced tongue stroking at the ridges and valleys as he sucks.
Maybe there’s a little bit of competitive “I’ve got a mouth as good as yours” going on, yeah, okay, but mostly Sebastian really does want to reward a job well done. Well. And he doesn’t want Alessandro’s cock going to waste, not that thick, satisfyingly heavy and very nice dick with the veins and the fat, delicious head – hey, just because he’s suddenly found himself dangerously attached to Kurt doesn’t mean he can’t appreciate a hot man who was kind of brought home for both of them, when you think about it.
Dimly, he’s aware of Kurt having crawled up and draped himself over his back, nipping and sucking kisses as he reaches around and wraps a lazy hand around Sebastian’s cock. He doesn’t seem able to speak, only to rasp harsh breaths against Sebastian’s skin and slip his slowly stiffening erection between the cheeks of Sebastian’s ass.
Sebastian pulls off with a pop and glances over his shoulder. “You’re incredibly distracting.”
Kurt only tilts his chin forward and tightens his grip. “Make him come.”
Contrary to popular belief, sometimes, Sebastian Smythe is very good at obeying orders.
The quip, delivered with all of Kurt’s trademark casual insolence, breaks the last lingering tension like a held breath, and Sebastian laughs back. “Fair enough,” he acknowledges, squeezing Kurt’s shoulder one last time before dropping his hand away. “So now what? Most people do this on the last day of their trip to Rome.”
“Yes. I only intended to stay one day here. I have my plane ticket for tomorrow booked already, all hail Vivian.” Kurt turns and slips forward, knotting hands into Sebastian’s shirt and pulling them so close a breath of air couldn’t have gotten between them without a fight. His eyes should be outlawed, Sebastian thinks, transfixed by that blue-green ocean gazing up at him through a fan of eyelashes. Kurt’s eyes are dark with invitation and promise. “And I wanted your…assistance. For one more thing.”
“Did you?” It’s difficult to get the words out, given that Sebastian’s throat and mouth have suddenly gone drier than a desert and there is no blood at all left anywhere near the vicinity of his brain.
“Mm.” The hum vibrates Kurt’s chest against Sebastian’s and only the fists in his shirt are holding Sebastian up at this point – his knees are like jelly, allowing Kurt to walk him backwards to the waiting car. “Truth or dare?”
It takes next to no thought to answer. “Dare.”
“Oh, good.” Kurt’s eyes sparkle as his smirk makes Sebastian think very, very dirty thoughts. “I hoped you’d say that. I’ll tell you about it on the way to the hotel…”
“So what was that about?” It’s just the two of them now, facing each other on the bed. Alessandro had departed with excellent grace and the suggestion that they look him up if ever they’re in Rome together again…or separately, whichever happened to happen.
Kurt shrugs. “It’s not my usual sort of thing…”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t have…” Sebastian trails off, knowing that Kurt knows how he would have finished that. “So, what, fresh start, new tricks to try?”
“Basically, yes.” He seems unaware of his fingers crawling out to spider absently along Sebastian’s arm and chest. “If I have to finish up this trip, I wanted to end it on a really high note and do something I’ve always wanted to try but never had the nerve.” A chuckle. “Go big before I go home, I guess?”
Ice water feels like it’s replacing all the blood in Sebastian’s veins. He steels himself so as to not betray the disappointment and shock. He knew it had to come, that it was around every corner they rounded…is this it? Is it here? He doesn’t know what to do. How to stop it. If it can be stopped. He operates on autopilot, feigning a casual coolness he in no way feels. “Is this it, then?”
Silence, cold and terrible as he watches Kurt’s face work in thought. “I think so. One more city and…and then I think I have to go.” Sigh. Blink. Eyes that go distant and lips that lose all trace of a mischievous smile. “I don’t want it to end.”
It takes everything Sebastian has to not grab Kurt’s hand and say, "It doesn’t have to."
He wakes up alone, to a vibrating phone and a sinking sensation in his stomach.
Picture Message From Kurt:
Message From Kurt: How’s this for the end of the road?
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